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.::info
name: Hoegarden age: 28+ likes: ice-cream, slp, singing, salmon sashimi, salsa, badminton, bb tan dislikes: crying e-mail: .::credit
This blog's skin was made by Tidalforge < .::previous posts 感觉你变了。。还是真的变了。。 Happy 2014..?? I doubt so.. Happy 65th month anniversary Something that I wish for... Feeling irritated annoying responsibility.. time.. dun really mean a thing.. Happy 5th year anniversary 孩子，是一辈子的责任.::archive
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
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January 2010
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January 2011
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September 2013
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January 2014
January 2015
August 2018 .::tagboard
.::Mo Mo Fund's Update
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3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day11Serve u rite for feelin down today, LYY... u brought this upon urself... if ur hand is nt even itchy to haf punch ur hp to send him an sms ytd... u wnt be feelin wat u feelin today... what haf u done..? u r suppose to be under going cold turkey treatment rite... why did you even bother to sms him oni to find urself startin to imagine things ur own ways... eventhough u noe tat ur anticipation is almz near to actual fact... n precisely u noe tat itz near to actual fact, tat is why u r feelin worse off than ever...STOP cheapenin urself....!!!!! Got washed up on the beach @ 2/28/2008 04:22:00 PM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day10ytd i went raffles city shoppin centre to run some errands...(Pedestrian1: oh run errands...? what kind of errands...? Care to share..? me: shhhhhhh.... itz top secret... i will tell u in private.... Pedestrian1: hmmz... oki lor... ) sorry for the side track... anyway... the basement was soooooooo much diff frm previously leh... gt more makan place... gt 1 place tat say tat is a japanese food bazzaar.... look interestin many many.... there is this shop call ochacha... sellin small bites de... alll ocha related... u noe... the japanese powder green tea tat we take wen go eat sushi...? the shop gt several green tea delicacy... i order a milk tea n sm kind of pudding last nite... nice...~~~~ 
Got washed up on the beach @ 2/27/2008 04:20:00 PM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day9after thinkin n thinkin... i still stix on to my decision of givin up for nw... if he is really meant to be mine... he will turn back...i shd really thx his qing mei zhu ma... cos nt for her... i dun think i will gif up... smhw, i jz feel tat she is playin mind games wif me n i hate tat... perhaps itz me who is sensitive... everythin she say could jz be a coincidence to things that happen later... bt watever it is, such issue is really pokin my heart... i hate tat feelin... in order nt to be caught in the game of love n hate later, i guess itz better that i step out... as for the card reading... jz take it a information ba... P.S. i gt craving to go Ktv leh..~~~ = = Got washed up on the beach @ 2/26/2008 10:24:00 AM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day72day is the start of my prof manicure n pedicure lesson... 1st attempt to file n push n cut on other fingers is challenging many many... sooooooo scare-ed tat i will jz cause the voluteer to bleed in the fingers... kowaiii.....~~~puttin nail polish is really a form of art... me is really lousy at tat when it comes to the fingers... i wonder hw did i manage to do it on the toe nails of grace... perhaps pedicure is easier to me ba... haha... weird of me then... who lik to wash feets for other ppl lar... yet i prefer to do pedi for others instead.... after lesson, met up wif grace... she brought me to do sm card reading at choa chu kang... very obvious tat wat i wil b askin rite... itz jz so weird tat i gt another advice... nt to gif up on me n ST... i keep askin the card reader if itz better tat i gif up on ST... yet he told me nt to do so... i gt the opposite card readin when i did my tarot card at the D&D the other time leh... tat gypsy told me tat in Feb, another guy will show up in my life... itz my decision if i shd gif up on ST or not to gif up on ST... she told me tat itz a pity to gif up the current guy tat will b appearin in Feb... (anyway... i dun see any1 tat happens to be my prince charming lor... n feb is ending nx week..!!!! Argh... idiotic many many...) similarity is... both cards say tat i gt to make sacrifices many many if i wanna be wif tat ST... really gif me more work n thinkin to do... humphZ... why mz i alwayz be the one givin way huh... so unfair de... >.< my gastric act up again... most prob due to helpin mr han to drink abit on fri nite... feelin terrible... hw i wish tat i can jz drop dead nw... i oni manage to start eattin recently and yet smth lik tat happen... haiz... = = Got washed up on the beach @ 2/25/2008 12:02:00 AM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day6went out wif LC to shop at vivo today... he gettin a pressie so i acc him... bt i think itz him tat acc me more lar... haha...he quite a funny person... quite a gentleman... and of cos more da fang than sm1... i think wif ppl acc me, itz easier to get over tat ST and tat is smth good i suppose... i will try to keep it up... haha... yah... my main point today is i wanna tok more abt ytd... ytd i went lunar wif dewei n gang... meet them at viva first... realise tat itz quite ex to go into lunar... bt mr han wanted to go in so much tat he rather haf his colx go hm on his own... bad of him... n as usual, mr han gt drunk n ytd i end up bein his portable pillar... haf to lend him my hand as bolster and my shoulder as his support... wah liew... think peiqi may really mistook me for bein 2gthr wif mr han... die-ed arh... nt a scandal tat i wan... = = i gt scolded by mr tan for goin into lunar... when he wanted to go back viva... idiot... u can tell me via sms tat u wanna go back viva wat... as if i can understand wat u tryin to tell me via ur eyes lik tat... u think wat the mouth or ur hp is for... aiyo... i think i am really a convenient "GF" to mr han... jz hope tat he dun fall for me... i wnt wan a ex-bf of my best fren to be my bf... anyway... think mr han really feel v lonely, can feel it when he was huggin my hand last nite... too bad, i cannot help him too much... bt at least nx time i noe, when we get into a cab... go straight to MEI LING ST... cnt afford to let him get in n out of cab lik tat everytime... dunno hw to catch a monkey back... = = Got washed up on the beach @ 2/24/2008 01:10:00 AM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day4smth is really very wrong wif me today...since mornin... i haf been eattin non-stop... really really non-stop... i gt myself a sausage mcmuffin today for breaky... and i end up eattin my coco crunch after tat... after lunch, i almz start to eat my fruitz immediately... jz nw durin the dinner, surprisingly i finish my food and after which, i immediately ate an ice-cream... O_O smth is wrong... guess i am goin thru another emotional cycle of stress tat acts exactly the opposite of what happen to me previously... i think tat this is really committin suicide slowly... haiz... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/21/2008 08:17:00 PM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day3failed my cold turkey treatment slightly... send him 2 sms ytd...jess mistakenly send the sms meant for him to me... seemz lik her habit to link the 2 of us 2gthr... nt a very healthy sign... thx goodness tat i haf bb tan to acc me these 2 days... wif him ard, it feels slightly easier to forget ST... jz tat i do miss him these few days... really miss him... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/21/2008 08:16:00 AM 3 weeks cold turkey treatment countdown - Day1itz jz lik takin drugs... n i m makin use of these 3 weeks to undergo cold turkey treatment...itz the first day tat he is nt in the ofc... feel kinda weird... esp when i lift my head oni to see tat his seat is empty... try nt to sms him... bt in the end send him 2 sms... bt no response though... either he left his hp at home, or receiption lousy in the camp... high chance tat his Hp kanna water... dunno shd say if i miss him or nt... itz lik an on n off button thru out the day... itz oni day 1 anyware... i think i shd be able to fare better soon... i will gt use to him nt bein ard... n i will stop likin him in the end... i can jz treat him as a normal colx in the ofc... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/18/2008 10:08:00 PM Msn.. Weird...smth is really wrong wif my msn... i wonder why...my msn history with ST gt missing conversation... funni... the conversation tat i haf wif him on 13th February 2008 all went missin... the part tat i qn him on his relationship wif yan yan and his answer all gone..!! impossible that itz deleted... it jz went missing... oni tat part of the conversation went missing... hw strange... i tot it was my imagination that i haf the conversation... bt... i gt tell grace on the msn on this thing... so i check my history wif grace n realise that the conversation is real... bt hw come oni tat part went missin leh... msn is really weird... = =''' Got washed up on the beach @ 2/17/2008 11:02:00 PM Death Note Special - L Change the World...Been on a movie marathon on fri n sat...and ytd... went to watch "L"... yah yah... itz the L from the Death Note Series... and this show truly nvr disappoint me... in term of the overall shootin and story... it was good...!!! oki... a little trailer frm my side... those who wanna watch the movie better dun read... cos it will definitely be a real spoiler for u... heres hw the story goes... in the event of battling of wits wif Kira, L has put his name in the death note as the last name... hence... he is oni left wif 23 days in this world b4 his death... durin the last of his 23 days, he received a message frm his fellow comrades F and taken over a case of the development of a biomedical weapon which have resulted in ppl killed in Thailand (they are the guinea pig in the experiments)... the oni survivor is a young kid who is a math genius... it seems tat environment extremist wanted to balance the eco system by killin excess human... n the fastest way is via virus infection worldwide... however, the antidote of the virus is yet to be developed (cos the one who use the virus dun wan to be killed by the virus, so need the antidote lor..) The initiator of the plan make use of a professor to develop the antidote and upon discoverin the plot... he send his daughter lookin for L to convey the message... His daughter witness his painful death and sot to take revenge by infectin the initiator wif the virus by bein a vessel to hold the virus... and of cos... L manage to resolve the issue right jz b4 his 23 days are up... I really love kenichi for makin L come alive in the show... he is exactly hw the comic depicted... wow... I love L oso... he gt a really cute character... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/17/2008 10:51:00 AM Withdrawal syndrome...itz jz the first day... i am oredi havin withdrawal syndrome...i am oredi startin to miss him... try as i may... the pain is still ther... and... i haf 3 weeks to go... to fall in love is really lik takin drugs... the cravin to start a conversation... the craving to hear his voice... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/16/2008 03:52:00 PM Happy Valentine Part 2i gt flowers for valentine ytd..!!! so sweet of the babies and alex... although the color nt really to my likin (i prefer white and who say white is for tomb sweeping oni... u better dun put up your hand... i will bish you up...) anyway... itz my first valentine day flowers after working for sooooooo many years... haha... (nw u noe hw stingy auditors are... especially the guyz... buddy oso nvr gif me flowers on v-day leh...) haha... there is smth more interestin from Bakerzin last nite... itz the KARMA SUTRA... nt the holy kind... haha... they put it in the form of chocolates... quite innovative rite... LC say tat he lik this position... haha... typical guyz preference... bt can u imagine... tat is a chocolate... amazing...!!!  This position was initially mistaken to be simple by Jess... haha... bt with a closer look... the lady almz haf to do a full split...!! who haf such good stretchin anyway... crazy position... LC suggest the lady to take up Yoga... anyway wif this kind of position... i think a lot of stamina is required... i recommend building up your stamina instead... haha...  anyway... i gt myself sm scandal photos ytd as well... will post them up once i gt them... haha... oh yah... i gt myself a free meal and a free kiss frm LC oso... i oso gt a free kiss frm Jess... (dun jealous dun jealous....) in view of tat... i suppose i haf gt myself a gd deal ytd rite... Wee wee... hi guyz... thankz for spending my v-day wif me... itz really fun watchin hw u guyz argue... u guyz really look lik a couple bickerin leh... more entertainin than anything else... haha... no wonder gt branded as scandal couple in BC... u guyz are jz soooooooooooooo cute... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/15/2008 10:26:00 AM Happy Valentine Part 1i have gt a pressie frm bakerzin when i went for dinner today... The weirdest free gift to be given on v-day... haha... bt smth useful of cos... haha...
The label reads: we hope we have gotten you in the mood for love this Valentine's at Bakerzin. The night is still young and if you are planning to seize the moment, remember, safety is the best policy..!!!
can u imagine tat itz oni 0.03mm thick... for maximum enjoyment i suppose... bt sm1 told me tat this brand isnt really tat good... O_o
Got washed up on the beach @ 2/15/2008 01:42:00 AM Full time... End of Game....i think the full time for this match is really up... i think.... i haf lose the game...at the end of the day... 我还是自己和自己谈恋爱...... sometimes, the more u deny smth, the more it shows tat there is smth... it could be i am sensitive.... bt i can say i am a rather spot on... n if one day tat u n him are really 2gthr, i wnt be surprised as i anticipated it since the day i noe u... n if one day, i am wrong, u n him really gt nth going on... it jz meant tat he n me are nt meant to be 2gthr in the first place... lettin go jz show tat we are nt fated.... sometimes... one really haf to learn hw to let go... yesh... i decided to let go... perhaps i will be crying for quite sometime b4 i get over it... bt i promise myself tat i wnt pester him anymore... save sm pride for myself... i wnt initiate anything anymore... other than work, ther will b nth more b/w me n him... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/12/2008 02:53:00 PM Quotes from my favourite movie...I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. Got washed up on the beach @ 2/11/2008 03:33:00 PM Pizza... Pizza...
la~~~la~~~la~~~ See... i dun need drugs to get wacky in the head... la~~~la~~~la~~~ hahaaaa.... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/07/2008 11:28:00 PM BiRthDay & LovE liFe....
Hmmz... have been really bored to haf search for tests to do... haha... i wonder hw true is the analysis above... seems lik my heart gt broken more than once liao... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/07/2008 09:37:00 PM My psyChe color...
Got washed up on the beach @ 2/07/2008 09:35:00 PM The Real Me..??
Got washed up on the beach @ 2/07/2008 09:31:00 PM am I eviL...??
Got washed up on the beach @ 2/06/2008 08:47:00 PM 亲爱的那不是爱情教室里那台风琴叮咚叮咚叮咛像你告白的声音动作一直很轻 微笑看你送完信转身离开的背影 喜欢你字迹清秀的关心 那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧 有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心 日子像旋转木马在脑海里转不停 出现那些你对我好的场景 你说过牵了手就算约定 但亲爱的那并不是爱情 就像来不及许愿的流星 再怎么美丽也只能是曾经 太美的承诺因为太年轻 但亲爱的那并不是爱情 就像是精灵住错了森林 那爱情错的很透明 那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧 有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心 日子像旋转木马在脑海里转不停 出现那些你对我好的场景 你说过牵了手就算约定 但亲爱的那并不是爱情 就像来不及许愿的流星 再怎么美丽也只能是曾经 太美的承诺因为太年轻 但亲爱的那并不是爱情 就像是精灵住错了森林 那爱情错的很透明 太美的承诺因为太年轻 但亲爱的那并不是爱情 就像是精灵住错了森林 那爱情错的很透明 A song written by Jay Chow and Sing by Angela Zhang Got washed up on the beach @ 2/05/2008 04:11:00 PM Fell dw again...la~~~ i had a fall again... yah yah... i noe this is gettin stale, bt i really did nt do it on purpose... so here hw the story goes... durin a tennis session with dewei n grace... i hit the ball into the pool area... lucky the ball nvr drop in2 the pool... it drop ard the shower area... so i went up to the pool to pick up the ball... as i was standin up frm my squattin position, i lose my foottin and fell against the kerb of the shower area... and OUCH..!!!!!! itz painful... i noe tat i will gt a blue-black... and indeed i gt a super duper ugly blue-black... T_T  Got washed up on the beach @ 2/05/2008 10:01:00 AM 《三个字》－乐琦篇爱情不是一道选择题，我知道那个时候，你就已经作了决定。你心里永远都有着一个相信，而我的相信就是支持着你的相信，因为我心里面有三个字，不能告诉你。如果有一天，命运让我们再次相遇。而你的答案还缺少了一个回应，或许你不知道，其实我也在等待另一个奇迹。 当你笑着找到你的相信，我会将这三个字化作你的姓名，永远的放在心里。 ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ 我第一次遇见语婷，是在一个炎热的夏天。她穿了一件白色背心，深蓝色的短裤，光着脚丫子在沙滩上徘徊着。虽然她的穿着充满了夏天的感觉，可是她的眼神却是带着一丝淡淡的忧愁。这样子的她，紧紧了锁住了阿铴的视线。 看着这样子的阿铴，我立刻明白了他的用意。我和阿铴算是青梅竹马，所以他只要一举手，一投足，我就了解他在想些什么。我想他似乎是在语婷的身上，看到了过去的自己。所以才会被她深深吸引的。 于是，我拍了拍阿铴的肩膀。就在阿铴回头看我的同时，我便举起了双手，在他面前一边问道，一边比手画脚的。“你想过去？” 是的，那是手语。阿铴因为小时候生了一场大病而丧失了语言的能力。那个时候的他，很自卑。我想他再差一点就连自闭症也要患上了。我不喜欢这样子的他，于是我千方百计地想要让他敞开心房。现在的他，比起以前，真得好多了。其实，我是可以不用手语的，阿铴只是不可以说话，并不是听不见。可能是习惯了吧，我从小学手语，便是为了能和他沟通。用多了，自然而然就习惯了。 阿铴没有回答我的话。见状，我并没有再多说什么便直接把他推向门口，然后对他笑了笑，便开口说道：“想去就去嘛，别婆婆妈妈的。” 但是，我看见阿铴还是犹豫了。我想，这是因为他很少和陌生人交谈的关系吧，所以也不知道要怎么和陌生人相处，毕竟他不能说话。对他而言，这的确是个很大的障碍。 “笨蛋，你不会问她是不是今天要住宿的客人吗？”我敲了敲阿铴的头一下，还向他吐了吐舌头。阿铴怎么这么健忘，他家可是经营旅馆业的耶，也不晓得用这个当借口吗？这的确是个比较适合的开场白嘛。 我很笃定的对他说了：“加油哦！”跟着，我垫起了脚尖，在他的脸颊上轻轻的吻了一下，然后再次用力把他推出门外。阿铴愣了愣，但还是转了身，走向那个女生。 当我看着阿铴走到那个女生的身边时，我的心就像是被一把利刀刺了一样，不停的滴血。可是，我并不想阻止阿铴。毕竟，这是阿铴第一次想要主动去认识一个人。以往，都是我和阿铴的家人逼着他去和其他人交涉的。所以，我更不能阻止阿铴，这是让他和其他人接触的好机会。 我在屋子里看着阿铴和那个女生交谈的情景。我不知道他们之间说了些什么，也不想知道。就算知道他们之间的言谈，有许多事情还是不能掌握的。还是让一切保持现状吧。 过了没多久，我便看见阿铴自己一个人回来，我不满的敲了他的头一下，又再对他比手画脚：“你好没用哦。不过，也算有进步啦。至少，这一次是你自己想要去接触陌生人，而不是被我们大家逼的。没关系，既然她会在这里住下，应该还有机会的。到时候，就麻烦你加油加油了。”比完后，我给了阿铴个甜甜的微笑。但是，他却不知道，这个微笑的背后，却是浓浓的哀伤。 ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ 这几天，我生病了。结果，为了照顾我，阿铴似乎都没有和语婷好好的说过话。再加上午餐时间客人太多，厨房忙不过来，阿铴都没有和语婷真正的接触过。除了前几天阿铴兴致勃勃地告诉我，那个海边的女生的名字叫做“秦语婷”外，他们之间就好像没什么其他的进展了。 阿铴提着我的药，走到了我的面前。我看见了他的脸色似乎有点不大好，为他担心了起来。于是，在他把药递给我的同时，我便问他：“你怎么了？怎么看起来精神不大好？” 阿铴叹了口气，疑惑的看着我。 “你……是不是有话想对我说？”认识阿铴这么久了，对于他的举动，我十分了解。 阿铴又叹了口气，然后就开始在我面前比手画脚。“乐琦，我觉得我最近好像怪怪的。不知怎么的，语婷总会出现在我的思绪里。我看不到她的时候，心里老是七上八下的。就拿今天来说吧，我老是不知不觉在人群中寻找她的身影。看不到她时，我的心，好像有空空的感觉。我不知道这意味着什么。乐琦，你知道这是为什么吗？” 闻言，我的心有一种石沉大海的感觉。但，我还是告诉自己不难过，毕竟我已经作了选择。“傻瓜，这就是喜欢啊！我想你对她是一见钟情了。”我向阿铴说道。我能确定阿铴应该是喜欢上语婷了。 阿铴很不确定的看着我。脸上仍然挂着不安，但是他并没有再多说些什么。而我也没对他多说些什么。 ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ 我走到了钢琴室外，便听见了优美的旋律在舞动着。不用想也知道，弹琴的人一定是阿铴。我正想走进钢琴室的同时，却听到了另一个人的声音。 “这是你的声音吗？”是的，这是语婷的声音。原来，她也在钢琴室里。“你弹得真好！”钢琴室里再次传来语婷的声音。我不自觉地微微打开了钢琴室的门，从微小的隙缝看见了钢琴室里的情景。这时，语婷已经是坐在阿棠的身边。 我看见阿铴拿出了随身携带的纸笔，在纸上写了些东西，便递给了语婷。我不知道阿铴写了些什么，只是，我听见了语婷的回答。 “我一直都在，只是你没看到而已。”看了看纸条后，她面带微笑的回答了阿铴的疑问。她笑起来，好美。我在阿铴的眼中看见他对语婷的倾慕。阿铴看着语婷看得有点陶醉其中。这也证实了我对阿铴说过的话，他喜欢上了语婷。 “再弹一首曲子给我听好吗？”语婷向阿铴提出了她的要求。而阿铴的十指又再度回到钢琴上，为她弹奏。 “你想不想听一个故事？”语婷问道。不等阿铴回答，语婷便继续说了下去。 “他是个很棒的小提琴家。那一年，有一个世界著名的音乐教室高薪聘请他到法国发展。临走时，他对我说他一定会回来，要我等他。我已经等了两年。可是，你知道吗？我相信他，所以我会一直等待着。”说着说着，她那灿烂的笑容渐渐的消失，取而代之的是那股淡淡的忧愁。 我知道站在门外偷听，是不对的。但是，我却没有办法克制住自己的好奇心。我知道过了今晚，语婷和阿铴之间的关系，一定会有所改变。眼前的一切，模糊了我的视线。我流泪了，心也跟着一阵阵的抽痛着。于是，我悄悄了关上钢琴室的门，转身离去。 突然之间，我觉得好冷好冷。身体就好像是被淘空了一样。 而之后，就如我所推测的一样，阿铴和语婷的关系变得十分暧昧。虽然，我看得出阿铴仍是有些不安，但我也知道阿铴的心理，始终有着一个相信。而我的相信，就是支持者阿铴的相信。 ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ “乐琦。真得很对不起。你的病情，已经开始恶化。而你的现在的体质又不是合作化疗，所以只能暂时用药物控制。希望在这期间，能够找到适合的骨髓，替你进行移植手术。这样子，你的病才有希望。”乌医生随手翻了翻桌子上的文件夹，并叹了口气。 “那……如果找不到适合的骨髓呢？是不是代表着，我会随时死去？乌医生，你替我看病看了这么久了。你告诉我好不好？我知道你不会骗我的。我是不是会随时死去？”我绝望的看着乌医生，希望能从他口中听到一些奇迹。 乌医生默默不语，面如死灰。看见乌医生的模样，我挫败的往后移了一步。眼泪也随着眼角流了下来。 “那……我还剩下多少时间？”我再次抬起头，面对乌医生。 “不会超过三个月。”乌医生也坦白的回答了我的问题。 “我知道了。乌医生，麻烦你不要把我的病情告诉阿铴，好吗？我求求你，求你不要告诉阿铴。”我几乎快要崩溃了。 “嗯。我不会告诉阿铴的。不过，你爸妈那边，我就没有办法了。”乌医生算是答应了我的要求。 ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ 当夏天接近尾声，阿铴和语婷那一段暧昧的关系也终究结束了。阿铴始终还是留不住语婷。 “你真的要这样子吗？”我忧心的看着阿铴说道。“你应该留住她的。你并不是没有希望，不是吗？为什么不去争取呢？” 望着那辽阔的海洋，阿铴轻声地叹了口气，然后回头望着脸色苍白的我。阿铴举起了双手，用手语向我解释了他的想法。 “你听过一首命名为《三个字》的歌吗？”我点了点头。阿铴便继续说道：“我觉得那一首歌里的情景和我的情形非常的相像。或许这样子，对我，对她都比较好吧。这段感情注定是没有结果的，不是吗？那么，我也没必要纠缠下去，让彼此都那么的痛苦。” 我听了过后，伤心地哭了。我的心好痛。为什么，为什么要让阿铴经历着一段不愉快。他的心痛，更加让我心痛。或许是因为彼此认识了很久的关系，很自然的阿铴便举起了手，替我拾去脸颊上的泪珠子。当我再一次昂首看着阿铴时，他也再一次用了手语对我说了这一段话。 “乐琦，不要难过。我知道你是在心疼我。可是你相信我，我真的没事。就算没有语婷，我还有你不是吗？没有爱情没关系啊，我还有你的友情啊。我只要有了乐琦你，我就够了。真的！我只要有乐琦就够了。”阿铴在说这一段话的同时，我看见了他眼里的诚恳。我相信他所说的都是真的。所以，我更为他心痛，同时，我也为自己感到伤心。 “阿铴，你知道吗？你真的好傻。”我心疼地紧紧搂住了阿铴。而阿铴则是把他的脸埋在我的肩膀上。 （对不起。阿铴，对不起。我并不能够一直的陪着你。请你不要怪我。你知道吗？你是我最放心不下的人。也是我最舍不得的人。但是，我没有办法，我真的没有办法。阿铴，对不起。）我把阿铴搂得更紧，心里的话，始终藏在心里，没有办法说出来。 ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ 我的身体，越来越虚弱，但是在阿铴面前，我仍然死撑着。我不想让他知道我现在的身体状况。以我对他的了解，我知道他一定会因为我的病，而留在我身边的。但是，我要的，并不是他的关怀而已，我心里想要的，是他对我的爱。 不过，我想我的担心是多余的。只从语婷离开后，阿铴没有真正的开心过。他的心，仍然是惦记着语婷。所以，对于我的身体状况，他并不是很清楚。 我知道自己的身体。于是，我决定写一封信给阿铴，告诉他我心里的感受。所以我才回来找邮差伯伯来帮我的忙。 “叩叩……叩叩……” “来啦，来啦……”邮差伯伯立刻开了门。“小乐琦，你怎么来了？你身体不好就应该呆在家里。怎么跑到我这里来了？快进来，快进来。”是的，邮差伯伯知道我的病情。我的药，都是他替我送来的。我恳求了邮差伯伯很久，他才没把事情告诉阿铴。 “邮差伯伯，能帮我一个忙吗？我想写一封信给阿铴，你能帮我交给他吗？在我过世的时候……”我走进屋子后，便把来历告诉邮差伯伯。我看见邮差伯伯好像有东西想要对我说，但却没说出口。他只是默默的点了点头，便转身回房，拿了些纸笔出来给我。在他转身的同时，我仿佛看见了他眼角的泪光。 在接过了纸笔，我便写了这么一段话。 亲爱的阿铴， “爱情不是一道选择题，我知道那个时候，你就已经作了决定。你心里永远都有着一个相信，而我的相信就是支持着你的相信，因为我心里面有三个字，不能告诉你。” 这首歌，不只代表了你的心情，也代表了我对你的心情。从很久以前，这三个字就一直住在我的心里，因为这三个字我不能告诉你。不过我最想告诉你的，是我了解这三个字的意义。 真得很对不起。我不是故意要抛下你的，请你原谅我。我不在的时候，记得，不要再自卑了知道吗？你是个很好的男人。以后，你一定会找到你的幸福的。而我会在天国永远的守护着你。 乐琦 在写完这封信之后，我将信纸放进了信封，交给了邮差伯伯。“麻烦你了。” “我可怜了小乐琦……”邮差伯伯接过了我的信件后，摸了摸我的头，眼角仍是泛着泪光。 我强忍住眼泪，对邮差伯伯笑了笑，便转头从窗口望向大海，耳朵旁则是不时传来《三个字》的旋律…… Got washed up on the beach @ 2/02/2008 09:29:00 PM 2nd day of feb...itz the 2nd day of Feb... me feelin more n more unrest... gettin abit depress oso...i dunno why... i jz gt a very strong feelin tat smth b/w me n ST will change drastically and i am afraid tat it really will happen... i wonder if itz becos of the tarot cards reading... the feelin is so strong tat even sweatin out in a game of badminton dun clear all the dark clouds within me... i jz cnt concentrate...!!!! jz nw my papa bo liew n took my hand n look... he say die-ed... me will oni get married after 30 years old... itz really adding oil to fire... = =''' Got washed up on the beach @ 2/02/2008 05:00:00 PM Beginnin of February...last year i was told tat sm1 else will appear in my life in february... the decision is wif me, whether to accept the new person or con't to stix my head in the mud, waiting for ST... tat sm1 oso say tat, me n ST will most likely b able to work out, jz tat time may b an issue and if i am willin to wait till ST is willin to settle dw or nt...she added... itz abit pity to gif up the person tat will appear in feb for ST... she also added... tat person tat appear is attracted by my independence and my strong character... bt smth tat bewild me is tat, though strong i am... the soft patch within me is actually the one domineering... my birth date and astro sign all show hw strong a person i am... bt is tat really the person i will be shaped in2..? dun they know tat the strong is jz a cover to hide the soft patch within... i dun wan a person tat lik me jz becos i am strong... i nd a person who will b constantly ard when i am weak... n majority of the time... i am weak more than strong... if smbody lik me for my strong character... it would also means tat it doesnt make a difference if he is ard or nt.... at least to me... as time step in2 february... i really wonder wat lies ahead... i noe tat i need to face it wif an open mind... bt can i really do it... can i really stop being stubborn...?? i dunno... really dunno... Got washed up on the beach @ 2/01/2008 10:41:00 AM
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